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Archive for the month “March, 2010”

The Journey Continues

Photo by Valette

The memorial service for Mom is planned for April. My sister has really run with the event and has things well under control. I feel badly because she really doesn’t have to do everything but she seems energized by the process and excited to see people who will be joining us from near and far.

I’m looking forward to seeing John. Living apart has been a traumatic experience. If the timing had been different the affects of the separation might be softer but not by much. Six weeks will have passed when we see each other in Boston at Logan Airport in April. We have a history with airports.

When people ask where we met, I tell them Chicago O’Hare. That’s the truth, really. We had been corresponding via e-mail, chat and phone for five months before we met in person. After that we took our relationship to the highways and airways traveling between Pittsfield, MA and Louisville, KY.

For five months we traversed I90 and, Albany, Manchester and Louisville airports. We may have given some others a test run. At that time, being together had an urgency and being apart had a yearning both of which obstructed moving on with life as it had been known.

Now that we’ve been together 10 years, being apart is more pained and knowing we’ll see each other in a couple of weeks provides a comfort along with a sense of adhesion that, if I was a romantic. I’d call completeness.

I’m making this part of the journey with some apprehension. Concerned that my separation from John is usurping my grieving process over Mom’s death, I wonder if the timing of these events will haunt me once our living situation has settled and we reach a sense of normalcy. I wonder but when I ask myself what that means, I can’t say that I know. But I don’t think it will be my doom.

So I’ll focus on the joy of seeing John and try not to be rude to others who seek our time and attention. I might even let John talk to other people.


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